Anna Bell knew that
taking her sister’s boy
friend was wrong, but
she couldn’t think of
any other way to end
their relationship.
It was not like she had
hadn’t done it before.
But, this time would be
different, because she
liked James a lot, maybe
too much.
James had been dating
Lee Ellen for over 2
months and it was clear
that the two were
inspirable. But
Mama was right, a
man who didn’t
understand their line of
work could endanger
their safety, or worst,
cause her to blow her
cover.
Mama was always
concerned with keeping
her job a secret.
Mama had spent 20 years
developing her contacts
and the agency had
supported her entirely.
Mama had been a part of
the agency since
college; she had been
recruited as an outside
agent during her senior
year. It was a new
program developed for
the purpose of securing
information and
reporting back to the
agency on students who
came from foreign
countries to study at
top colleges in
America. Mama
always said, the Agency
was more interested in
what their parents were
up to then the students
themselves.
Mama was given a
student's name and
perhaps a photo and it
would be her job to
develop a profile on the
student and forward to
the Agency.
Because of Mama’s job
she had spent 8 years in
college instead of the
usual four.
I
am sure they selected
Mama because she was
intelligent, beautiful
and looked like a
teenager. Mama had
long black straight hair
that reached down her
back, almost to her
waist. Her dark
green eyes, which she
covered with
transitional glasses,
could pierce right
through you. It
was not often that Mama
allowed strangers to see
her eyes; it was almost
like her own private
shield against the
world.
Mama had gotten pregnant
with me and my little
sister after her eight
years of college.
She never talked about
my father, except to say
that my sister and I had
too different fathers
and their identity was
“classified information”
I didn’t understand what
classified meant until I
was 10 years old.
All I knew is that it
was a secret and when
Mama said something was
"classified" that meant
I was never to speak of
it, not even to her
unless she brought up
the subject.
I
was fortunate; I got my
mother’s beauty, shapely
figure, long black hair
and high cheek bones.
Everywhere I went people
would tell me how pretty
I was. Mama would
always say it’s not the
book cover, but the
contents that makes a
person beautiful.
So it is fair to say
that my mother kept me
grounded and still
encouraged my
independence.
In
college, Mama had a
double major, education
and computer science.
The Agency had decided
that Mama should secure
a job as a waitress near
the college and still
take a few classes
towards her PhD, that
way she would still have
access to the campus and
students.
Even though Mama was
working part-time and
studying for her PhD,
she spent as much time
with me and my sister as
she could. We were
enrolled in the college
campus pre-school
part-time and stayed at
a Home Day Care when
Mama had to work late.
Mama earned really good
money with the Agency,
but she did not live on
her salary from the
Agency. While in
college, Mama had earned
a living, like all the
rest of the students.
She obtained student
loans, grants,
scholarships, and worked
part-time during the
summer.
I
was only 11 years old
when I overheard my
mother talking on the
telephone, and when she
got off, I asked her a
question about what I
heard her say on the
phone. I was on
punishment for 2 weeks
just because I spoke
about “classified
information” without
being spoken to!
Mama never told my
little sister about her
job and she wasn't
suppose to tell me, but
as you probably have
figured out, I was smart
for my age and I asked a
lot of questions.
Lee Ellen, my little
sister, was a
normal happy child, who
didn’t have a care in
the world. I
always felt superior to
her, because I was the
oldest and I knew Mama’s
secrets.
When Lee Ellen was
around 16 years old, we
started having problems
with her and boys. Every
other month, she would
be in love with a new
boy from school. I
never felt guilty about
separating her and her
boyfriends from high
school, but now, she was
a young woman and her
new boyfriend, James,
appeared to be extremely
serious about the
relationship. It
never occurred to me to
talk with my mother
about my intentions.
By
then, Mama was working
as an Associated
Professor at the college
part-time. She was
always on the computer
and had a worried look
on her face most of the
time. I didn't
want to bother her with
details, so I decided to
handle my sister’s
relationship on my own.
I
later found out that
Mama was working on
newer encryptions to
protect government
Agency “classified” web
sites – It seems that
the Agency had set up a
computer in the jail
cell of one of the best
computer hackers in the
world and Mama and her
team would
protect a site and his
job was to hack the
site. Mama was
loosing, he could and
did hack through every
firewall, and encryption
program that Mama and
her team
implemented.
Finally, they arranged
for the ‘Back Door
Hacker’ as he was
called, to be released
from prison on a work
program for the Agency.
His job was to create
and implement protection
for the agency
“classified” intranet.
This famous hacker later
became my husband.
He still calls my mother
and says, jokingly, “close the
back door” To this
day; I don't understand
their inside joke.
I
am getting ahead of
myself .............
James, my sister's new
boyfriend, was handsome,
about 5’11” with
gorgeous eyes, a body
builders body,
worked part-time as a
body guard for
dignitaries that visited
the campus and a male
model part- time.
He spoke 5 different
languages and I knew he
had a high level
security clearance, but
no one’s security
clearance was higher
then Mama’s, or so I
thought.
James would pick Lee
Ellen up on Friday
evenings and sometimes
we would not see them
again until Monday
morning. Mama
seemed concerned, but
not worried. Lee
Ellen had told Mama that
they were going to
Disneyland the first
time this happen.
Mama had talked to Lee
Ellen about birth
control and had told her
to consider holding out
until marriage.
Lee Ellen promised that
she would think about
it.
I
decided to destroy my
sister’s relationship
because; I could not
trust James to be a part
of our family.
Mama’s job was too
important. And Lee
Ellen didn’t have a clue
as to what was going on.
She fell in love with
every man she dated. (If
she wasn’t in love with
them by the second date,
there was no second
date) Mama said she was
like that because she
was a love child and
needed to be protected.
In
the past, the only thing
I needed to do to break
up my sister and her
boyfriends was to get
her boyfriends alone and
kiss them passionately
or to start the process
of love making. I
felt this latest project
would be no different. I
felt concern, but no
guilt.
I
picked the week before
Thanksgiving to
implement my plan.
James had called and
said he would be over to
pick up Lee Ellen around
2:00 PM the Wednesday
before Thanksgiving.
They were going skiing.
I told him Lee Ellen was
not home and that I
would give her the
message. He said
thanks and hung up the
phone.
I
knew Mama would be
shopping around that
time for Thanksgiving,
but I had to be sure.
So I made arrangements
to meet her at a certain
location at 2:00 PM.
I told Lee Ellen that
James would be there to
pick her up at 5:00 PM
and that the nail shop
had called and she had
an appointment for 2:00
PM. (of course I made
the appointment)
My
plan was working great;
everybody was doing what
they were supposed to be
doing. Mama
started calling my cell
phone at about 2:15 PM,
Lee Ellen was getting
her much needed nails
done for the trip.
At about 2:20 PM, James
was at the door, smiling
and expecting to see Lee
Ellen. I answered
the door with most of my
clothes OFF. When
I opened the door I felt
a tingle of guilt but
not enough to stop my
actions. I proceed
with my plan and James
played right into my
hands.
It
was not until he was
totally sure of what I
was trying to do that he
grabbed me by my arm and
said, “What do you think
you are doing?” “I have
philia love and agape
love for your sister and
for you to try to come
on to me is unreal”
I started to cry.
I had no idea that tears
were coming. But
this strong, handsome
man had called my bluff
and stopped all my
actions on a dime.
I
could not stop my tears.
I was not sure if I was
crying because this was
the first time in the
history of my womanhood
that a man had rejected
me or because what I was
doing was wrong.
Aside from grabbing my
arm with much force,
James was gentle.
He told me to put my
clothes on. His
gestures meant do it in
a hurry before he change
his mind. As I
buttoned up my jeans, he
said softly, “What is
God?” I looked at
him and was totally
surprised by his
question; I repeated the
question, “What is God”?
I remembered hearing
Mama say that God was
love. So I said
“Love”
James said, “Correct and
I love your sister, and
for you to tamper with
that love is to go
against God’s presence.”
“Do you understand?”
I nodded my head as
James went on to say, “I
realize you are trying
to protect your mother
and her job, but this is
not the way to do it”
He
looked at me.
I froze when he
mentioned my mother’s
job, which job was he
talking about? Her
job with the University,
her job with the Agency,
what did James know?
He cleared it up for me
with one sentence.
“I understand your
families need to be
discreet, I have those
same needs, after all,
we live double lives”
He
then picked up his coat
and headed for the
doo.“Tell Lee Ellen, I
will be back at 5:00 PM
and it would be a good
idea if you are not here
when I come back”
He walked out of the
door.
I
was soaked with my own
perspiration and inner
fear, not to mention my
shame. I took a
shower hoping to wash
the guilt off.
After getting dressed, I
called my mother and
told her I had fallen
asleep and would see her
later. I called my
sister to be sure that
she would be home by
5:00 PM and I left
knowing that I would not
return home until well
after 5:00 PM.
I
kept thinking, should I
tell Mama what happen?
What will she say, what
will she do, does she
know about James, is it
best to be quite about
the whole thing.
My first thought was to
tell my mother, but did
she know about James,
would I be betraying
James if I told what
happened? I didn’t
know what to do.
So I did nothing, I
acted like the entire
incident never happen.
It
was not until about two
weeks before Christmas
before I saw James
again. He acted
like nothing happened
and so did I. It
was at that moment that
I knew I had made the
correct decision not to
tell anyone about our
encounter.
Lee
Ellen and James were
married on Christmas Eve
in a small private
ceremony at the church.
The Honeymoon was put
off until New Year’s
Eve. This was a
strange decision, but I
had learned not to
question James and
Lee Ellen.
As
for me, I met my
mother’s worst
nightmare, the “Back
Door Hacker” at a
Christmas/New Year's
party my mother took me
to. It was
love at first sight.
There was a short
engagement and a small
private wedding
ceremony.
Mama still works for the
Agency and so does my
husband and my
brother-in-law. No
one in the family talks
about their work except
for me. I went on to
finish law school, and
since talking is my job,
I talk enough for the
entire family.
